coa//001 draft complete

28 06 2012

Didn’t I used to do wacky titles for these updates? I should keep doing that. Meanwhile, linkylinky.

This represents the other 50% of the scenes in the story. It’s a pretty beefy update, which makes sense considering the last one was just tweaks and revisions. This time, it’s all rich, meaty new content. Meat. Beef. Metaphor. Delicious.

So, that’s coa//001 in the can. And the good news is doing the final draft should be quicker than usual; this time around I did my reading passes immediately after writing each section, checking for word flow and authorial meaning. All that’s left is making adjustments based on the blog feedback (including what you post today!) and spelling fixes.

What do you think? It’s the first story in a new series, a first impression, and it’s damned important to make it a good one. I’d love to hear your take on City of Angles.

As for what’s next:
1. Start commissioning the official artwork for the series, for the gallery and ad banners and the like.
2. Start writing Stars Fall 06, the bonus story, and get that book released.
3. THEN start on coa//002.




10 responses

28 06 2012

SAN Cost: Don’t bother. You don’t have that much. No one has that much.

29 06 2012
Benabik (@Benabik)

Woah. That wasn’t quite what I expected. Grrr characters that know more than me. ;-)

29 06 2012
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

Oh? What were you expecting?

29 06 2012

Ominous. That’s textbook ominous. (good thing)

29 06 2012

“Six million mouths”: the more… appendage they got, the more corrupted they are ?

The description of Dave’s drawing is a bit like Zelazny’s Pattern [ ] in the Princes of Amber. I’m half-expecting Dave figuring out how the City works and/or how the picasso’d people are not that evil. That or he becomes a dark messiah and/or a superweapon for one faction of the City.
Or something else altogether, because I was never good at guessing stuff.

29 06 2012
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

Nah, “six million mouths with six million teeth each” is just a way of saying “OH GOD WHAT IS THIS AAAA.” There’s no logical connection between visual style of a Picasso and their nature since they’re utter chaos.

As for what exactly he’s drawing and what purpose it will be put to, and the nature of the fourth key, and whether or not he has some unique ability… let’s just say there’s a lot going on here beyond Dave himself.

11 07 2012

Does the twenty-fourth dollar have any place in this?

2 07 2012

Love the setting. Reminds me of Neverwhere and Fallen London, which is good: there is not enough of this stuff around. The setting is the main draw for me here.

I like how Dave rolls. I guess since I love the city and want to have more of it, it would be annoying for him to want to go home. Hope he stays non-freaked out and trolls the city haters/people who do not get it.
Penelope is lovely of couse, but… girl who grew up Outside, talks a lot, is an optimist, but has trouble making friends? It feels like I’ve seen her somewhere already.

Also, I am not sure why Dougal bothers to explain anything, if in the end he is just going to snap his fingers and send Cartwright to get eaten. I mean yeah, it’s for exposition, but wouldn’t you normally do it the other way around? Corrupt first, give orders later?

2 07 2012
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

But it’s much more fun to lay things bare, and THEN turn the guy into your minion. It proves you already had him well in hand and it doesn’t matter what the order of operations is. :D

Glad you like the setting! It’s got a lot of promise — we haven’t even seen other parts of the city like repeaters, or the Zag, or the Suburbs and Countryside, the Endless Roads, or the indistinct fringe. More to come!

4 07 2012
Jeremy Jinkerson

Really love everything I’m seeing once Dave gets to the city. Cliffhanger ending got me very excited about what comes next.

It did take me a little while to get into it, however. Dave as a bland character was an initial tough sell. He shows his redeeming qualities in this story, but it takes some time.

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