sf05 kills the headlights and puts it in neutral

14 12 2011

Chill out, it’s a shortcut.

Halfway through the list of targeted Arcologies. Today, it’s zombie-infested Brazil, with main characters taking the fight right to the enemy.

As of this posting I have all the Arcology takedowns written. The grand finale going up on Christmas Eve isn’t written yet, but I’ve got time. Assuming my Old Republic preorder doesn’t kick in soon. (It probably won’t, I preordered like two weeks ago. They don’t like tardiness.) But, our course is set… nothing left to do but step on the gas.

Feedback, as always, is welcome.

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18 responses

14 12 2011
LoopyChew

I can make a witch’s stand as easily as I can tweak your credit rating.

It’s been “take a witch’s stand” thus far, though I can accept “make” as something that varies from person to person.

He’d added four point harnesses to the seats,

Do a search for “four point” and replace it with “four-point”.

given the safety of automobiles from that age

He should be thankful it wasn’t a Ford Pinto.

but you couldn’t add a fresh ding the bumper

“…fresh ding to the bumper.”

They had blueprints for the Arcology — the Ascendancy stamped all of them out in the same shape, with the same layout.

14 12 2011
LoopyChew

Didn’t mean to hit “post.”

They had blueprints for the Arcology — the Ascendancy stamped all of them out in the same shape, with the same layout.

Una points out in a05 that “Every Arcology configuration is different, but the engines and the chambers are always in the center.” You may want to point out that the Ascendancy is different in this aspect, à la “Unlike most Orbital arcologies, the Ascendancy…”

FRAGMENT 003 : SÃO PAOLO 4AM

“SÃO PAULO”

There was another one I caught on my Kindle on the way to work, but I’m a bit short on time at the moment and check later today.

I would’ve liked to see more of Maria and the Muertos invasion, even if they’re basically acting as cannon fodder. A little view on how network adminning influences her, particularly when increasing numbers of nodes (and clusters of nodes) keep on timing out, might add to the dramatic weight of what SHE’S doing, particularly as she realizes further down the line that these aren’t just nodes, but souls getting destroyed, and the toll that takes on her… I understand focusing on Sen’s perspective, as he actually has the Exorcism Bomb, but it feels like we’re missing out on a massive battle scene due to budget/time constraints.

That said, Indestructible Carmageddon is pretty cool, too.

Looking forward to Lane and the O’Daredevils!

14 12 2011
Lirazel

As someone who’s definitely built for comfort, not for speed, this one had me shaking. Well done!

14 12 2011
LoopyChew

Also, double-checking, Petersen’s car is listed as an ’86 LeSabre in sf01 but an ’84 here.

14 12 2011
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

It’s definitely an 86. I’ll correct. Thanks!

15 12 2011
LoopyChew

Is it a reference to something specific? I can’t for the life of me think of a LeSabre used in film or TV.

15 12 2011
kamalloy

I think it’s just that it’s a huge hunk of metal.

15 12 2011
LoopyChew

But is there such a difference between the ’84 and ’86 that it merits changing the multiple references in this chapter as opposed to the singular one in the first?

15 12 2011
Jen, Psycho Happy artist

Stefan, I suggest the ’84 instead — they downsized the LeSabre in ’86. Also, the ’86 isn’t as quintessentially classic early 80s car design. :D
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_LeSabre#Fifth_generation_.281977.E2.80.931985.29

15 12 2011
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

You’re right; the picture I’d been using as my reference model was mislabeled. The 1984 looks a lot more like it could smash through walls. I’ll search-and-replace.

15 12 2011
kamalloy

I had a friend in college who drove his grandmother’s 84 LeSabre. You felt pretty darned secure in that car, even if parallel parking was hell.

15 12 2011
Jen, Psycho Happy artist

That’s what I figured you were going for. :D

15 12 2011
kamalloy

I absolutely love Petersen’s last line, and I really like the detail about his keychain. Nice quick character insight.

15 12 2011
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

Petersen was born in America — not in an Arcology, not in orbit, not even in secret. His parents were Gatherers. So, he sees himself as an Orbital-American, and really did want to do right by the American people as a leader even if he also had to serve his secret masters.

15 12 2011
Jen, Psycho Happy artist

I’d argue that serving his secret masters (the Orbitals) was trumped by serving his OTHER secret organization (the Gatherers), so all of his actions were ultimately to the direct benefit of the American people.

Guess that makes him sort of a triple agent. Whee! But a benevolent one. I like him. :)

15 12 2011
Micheal

Really at this point I shouldn’t be surprised if Petersen turns out to have two or three more agencies involved, and is running things as a septuple agent. /grin

16 12 2011
loopychew

Now that’s an image: Archivist Sen, the Pandoran Carmen Sandiego.

Well, he sneaks around the world, gathering the miscellania,
Planning Earth’s salvation from Berlin down to Belize
The Orbital conspiracy, he’ll work hard just to tame ya, tell me:
Where in the world is President Bill Petersen?

16 12 2011
Jen, Psycho Happy artist

Carmen Sen-diego? XD

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