sf05 says failure is always an option

23 11 2011

There’s not a lot of room for the scientific method when it comes to exorcisms.

Sorry for the delay on this one. I’ve had most of it done for awhile, but the last scene was only half done, and… lots of RL things. Games to play, family events, problems to deal with, day job work to do, general malaise to work through, and so on.

We’re entering into December, which is usually a comfortably melancholic month for me. I rather like that, really. And it should set a good, fertile ground for me to write in, to finish up the entire anachronauts saga. The free parts, at least. Keep an eye out; once the Thanksgiving holiday corridor of madness fades away, I’m hoping to write more.

Also, check out Desert Bus for Hope. It’s a yearly charity rally, where the more people donate, the longer LoadingReadyRun has to play the worst video game ever made. Proceeds go to Child’s Play, a charity near and dear to my heart. They only have another two or three days, so hop on over after reading. I can wait. Then leave your feedback to the new scenes here. I welcome your thoughts.

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12 responses

23 11 2011
LoopyChew

We are going to using that.

Immediate grammatical error aside, I think “We will be using those” or “We are using that” is a bit more Emily-like.

I trust you enough to accept that I was hurt in terrible manner.

“in a terrible manner”

I swear that I’ll follow you wherever you may go

Damn, Nel, you have a fifteen-year-old adoptive superdaughter to not abandon! Don’t even consider suicide if things go wrong!

I’ve had enough time to work and re-work Jeeve’s systems

“Jeeves’s” is the proper possessive for single-syllable names ending in ‘s.’

Okay, Proctor Hel definitely had the right idea when it came to the Pandoran Earth if he wanted to bring down the Ascendancy. However, there are still a lot of other words that the Exorcism Bomb doesn’t cover. Is it just a Lady Winter-like gambit where she has a thousand different games in play and only needs one success for everything to go right? Like, did Proctor Hel have a reason for things like Russia, or Neo Delhi, or Robo-Australia?

An iced mocha lattee was presented.

“latte” with one ‘e.’

Drawing on the crowns really screwed me over awhile ago

One day soon, we will break you out of this “awhile” habit you have.

“And I could break the world in half trying!”

I love the fact that you used Winterspeak here. Real Foresight, that.

an exceptional woman showed me that there can sometimes be a Plan D that you had never thought of originally.

Hee!

Even though carefully designed war plans, through failsafes, through every piece of the puzzle she’d carefully slotted into place…

I’m assuming you meant “through,” for the repetition.

Having gone through it just recently for proofing purposes, there’s one line in a07 that I can’t help but think of now that it’s about to happen, and that’s Emily saying “We [witches] break the world, if need be, to protect who we care for.”

So we likely know why Emily is going to do it. Now we’re almost to the point where we find out what immediately catalyzes it, and everything else along the way.

23 11 2011
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

I love to do foreshadowing, although often it’s to the point of tipping the hand too early. Too late to do much about it now, but I think in the end, the ride will make it worthwhile — since this chapter is really not about WHY things end they way they do, but the struggle to get to that point.

Also, um, wow. I was hella sloppy this time around, wasn’t I? I’ll be doing proofing after sf05’s done, in 2012 — I want the stories REALLY, really book-ready this time instead of first edition book-ready.

23 11 2011
LoopyChew

It works. Reading it that early on doesn’t give you the feeling of anything ominous; it’s just now that we’re in the final stretch of the saga and I’ve been re-reading Book One over and over again that it jumped out at me. We already know WHAT happens, we just don’t know HOW.

23 11 2011
Schadrach (@Schadrach)

I think we know a good bit of the HOW, it’s the WHY that’s interesting.

To quote fs05: “Yes,” Jesse confirmed, before speaking the word that would one day break the world in half. “[pandora].”

I think that prophecy could be described as “breaking the world in half”, or possibly catastrophically holding it together long enough for a partial escape after pandora is cast, or whatever.

The other big WHY that’s kind of foreshadowy is in a00, regarding the sculpture that got someone in trouble with the House of Gears, and what it said about that House’s origins. Not going to quote or go into any more detail because book, but I don’t see a terrifically obvious reason why the House of Gears would be described in such a way yet (though there are lots of ways that sf05 plans could fail and give a damn good reason).

23 11 2011
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

I will say that the “Fall” of the House of Gears (which in and of itself has two meanings!) happens well after Stars Fall. So, it’s not due to what’s about to happen in four days. For more details, check out the London’s Fog bonus story! :D

24 11 2011
LoopyChew

When I say “how,” I mean “the actual circumstances” (how we get to it), not the exact methodology of it.

25 11 2011
Jen Gagne, Psycho Happy artist

“Is it just a Lady Winter-like gambit where she has a thousand different games in play and only needs one success for everything to go right? Like, did Proctor Hel have a reason for things like Russia, or Neo Delhi, or Robo-Australia?”

I just had a conversation about this with 2F and told him my theory that Proctor Hel had installed the non-Atlantic-bordering cultures as a sort of backup plan.

Therefore — Russia and Neo Delhi, China… etc… yes.

I think the Lady Winter-like gambit theory is plausible. Hel was a master statistician and I doubt he had one sole successful path to success in mind (except in the larger sense of bringing all these cultures together).

26 11 2011
Jen Gagne, Psycho Happy artist

“Damn, Nel, you have a fifteen-year-old adoptive superdaughter to not abandon! Don’t even consider suicide if things go wrong!”

Random thought I had last night about this comment: although they were obliged to leave Carrie behind during all this chaos, I think Nel is more responsible than that. She may very well “follow” Una eventually, but not necessarily right away. First she’d need to destroy the Ascendancy, make arrangements for Carrie, etc. That’s why Una would have to wait.

26 11 2011
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

I don’t think Nel’s thinking too clearly at that point. She’d likely realize how foolish it was to even consider it, once all of this was behind her and she had a moment to breathe.

23 11 2011
Jen, Psycho Happy artist

Wow, Una, can’t really argue with you there logically.

I am surprised nobody went to the “this is what Una would have wanted” argument. Guess that’s hard to bring up when Una or a semblance thereof is sitting right there. But she really would have wanted to help, to offer herself as a test so nobody else would get potentially obliviated.

And… I have a sneaking suspicion that Una still has the slightest shred of instinctive understanding that things are Not Right. It’s not _just_ because those around her are broadcasting that concept. (See also her thought that she WANTS to feel, later: “I want to feel thankful for that”) I think for the soul and body to reconnect there has to be a sort of two-way wanting, even if the body’s ability to want something so abstract is very weak.

Love that parenthetical point about Cammy being there. If it doesn’t work, Cammy has a right to know what they’re all in for. If nothing else, it will be motivating.

“the one we placed on the teddy bears” — oh, so they did that? It wasn’t just another Gatherer artifact? Nobody’s used much magic lately other than the Ascendancy so it’s a nice touch that they did something more active with it.

I notice the steam doesn’t hurt KoP like it used to hurt Benny. I guess it isn’t particularly _angry_ steam… rather the opposite really. If you want to be explicit, you could establish in the earlier scene with him and Chloe that “at least she’s managed to make the steam not hurt him…”

“…so. That happened,” Gilbert offered. — hee hee! Yeah, it’s awkward but the whole thing is a good kind of awkward.

“Juxtaterrestrial-American” — XD

I love the hell out of this conversation between Emily and Jesse. Not only does it bring so many things together, but… seriously I think it’s one of the best conversations you’ve ever written. o_o

Typo patrol: lattee, Even though carefully (through), just things worse.

23 11 2011
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

Best conversation? Seriously? I was flying without any outline, there, other than “Jesse annoyed she’s left out of the fight, Emily says why.” I was a bit worried it finished weakly and that the whole ‘meddling’ theme was overdone or didn’t fit earlier discussions since I hadn’t checked back for reference, etc…

Further proof I am a terrible evaluator of my own work.

Oh, and as for KoP not getting burned, I… um… er…. LOOK BEHIND YOU A THREE HEADED MONKEY *runs* *tries to figure out what to do about that*

23 11 2011
LoopyChew

Easy. Chloe is a significantly more compassionate person than Raphael ever was–since the steam is flowing from her, and she controls it the way Raphael was once able to flex his might over Jeeves–she can choose how much it harms others, even the infernal. Even if she can’t control the fact that it harms him somewhat, at least it can go from being “I’M MELTING WHADDA WORLD” to “I’m itchy, but it’s no worse than a bad trip.”

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