sf04 takes away your swingline stapler

20 10 2011

Yyyyeah. I’m going to have to ask you to move your desk again.

Got this done last night, but was too tired to post it. So, you get a midmorning update. Several new scenes, resolving the minor cliffhanger from last time, and adding a new minor cliffhanger to chew on before the next update.

Part of me is a bit concerned that doing a purely Carrie-focused episode in the middle of Stars Fall is a bit strange, given its focus on following the Quantum Mermaid crew. Hopefully it’s working out okay. There will be more hints as to what else is going on in the world later. There have been hints so far! Did you catch them? Are you suspicious of the doings and goings on? Excellent.

Feedback and reactions welcome.

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5 responses

20 10 2011
Rens

The Ascendancy is /really/ good at stepping on people and making them feel useless and insignificant. I guess that makes them more tractable.

20 10 2011
Jen, Psycho Happy artist

“Her home world had the oath, the one all heroes took” — ahah, so she does come from a world where there are lots of heroes. I wasn’t sure if her family was it, or if it was pretty common there.

“They had the authorization of the Commander in Chief, after all.” — I know this is the Future and the President is sort of in charge of everything, but at least in the modern era, he’s in charge of the military, not our police forces. Police is a local jurisdiction thing, as I understand it. Southern states like Georgia would be especially persnickety about state’s rights (like how they run their police departments)… BUT, Eastusa is not USA. And if it’s an Executive Order, and/or the Ascendancy strongarmed him and Congress into making into law, guess that could be enough?

“play hero” — said right after telling her she won’t be particularly useful? Ohhh snap, as the kids today perhaps still say!

“America’s age-old enemy, the Atlantean Kingdom” — Love the messaging here. “Enemy” he says? For all we know the Kraken were basically wild animals that the Atlanteans respected. Perhaps they could sometimes convince them to leave a ship alone, but I don’t think the Atlanteans were deliberately causing all the Kraken to keep us stranded. We didn’t even know the Atlanteans existed till relatively recently.

“Doctor Mindmelter” — o_o

Automatically memorized the schematics, eh? Maybe that info will come in handy later…

“the city — her city” = “The City! MY The City!” ;)

“baby carriage” — wow, do those even exist anymore? Maybe update to “stroller”

Knightfall and Merry Prankster — gee, wonder who those two are analogous to. :D

I can totally picture O’Dare parked behind an anti-aircraft gun. :D

“yarn-knitted slipcovers” — a slipcover covers an entire piece of furniture. I think you mean doilies or antimacassars or throws or afghans or somesuch.

Caroline is a “little girl” but Barbara is just one head higher?

Mysterious Doings in the Basement! I’m sure we’ll hear more about this.

Ooh… Van? It’s been years though. Kid must be what, twenty by now?

Typos:
— closley, siezed, milisecond, liason x2, geniues, not not, reenforce, harms way (add apostrophe), confidant (add “e” on end since Carrie is female), runion, casette (throughout)
— “good graces” — grace should be singular, both instances.

20 10 2011
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

States rights: Eastusa is a series of walled cities, plus some external settlements. “States” as a concept are a loose concept now. Pandora completely reshuffled the landscape in more ways than one; merging a PMC thinktank with the US Army, shifting the capital to Philadelphia, etc.

Atlanteans: Yep, more Ascendancy spin. The official story is that the Atlanteans were bad guys keeping America penned in, and had to be destroyed. Despite, y’know, them participating in the United Nations and working to allow some traffic over their airspace.

Relative height: I’ll probably change this. It seemed a fun bit of wordplay but I’m a lousy judge of height, for obvious reasons.

20 10 2011
Lirazel

So, I check the “new” site as well as LJ, and still missed this.

Poor Carrie. I want to reread before further comments, though.

20 10 2011
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

Well, to be fair, this one went up at like nine in the morning. That’s REALLY weird for me, usually it’s at night.

I’d like to resume doing regular and predictable updates, but I think given the crazy in my life, it’s best to keep things flexible.

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