lf05 is taking care of business

23 01 2011

It’s not easy, coordinating a group effort at overthrowing a regime.

Thanks for your patience. I’ve been having kind of a strange week and I needed the time away from the project to make sure what I was writing didn’t suck. In return, enjoy the next three scenes, which will take us right up to the start of the finale.

This chapter’s getting ridiculously long, so I added in ‘section headers’ before each major movement of the story. I’m kind of iffy on them, though. What do you think? Does it need them to mark each transition or is one double-length chapter of flowing scenes okay as-is?

I probably have other things I could be talking about in this blog post, but I’m tired. So, story, ‘ereyar. Feedback and reactions welcome.

EDIT: FYI, to come on Wednesday… removing the section headers, and splitting the chapter into lf05 and lf06. Even with the split, both will be large chapters. But it should flow better when divided right at the spot where Gilbert comes up with the plan.




10 responses

23 01 2011

Too sleepy to read far or comment much but this caught my eye:”Grisly Twin Maiden Murders in Ibiza Remain Unsolved!”
Somebody killed Randall’s bodyguards? Hmmm…

23 01 2011
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

Remember? That’s how Ik’ai extended Randall’s life at the end of lf03; similar to how Jesse saved Gilbert. Except, y’know, homicidal instead of self-sacrificing.

23 01 2011

I wonder if Lizzy’ll still be alive come Stars Fall. It’d be nice to see her again if she survives that long~
This chapter -is- preeetty long. I dunno, I think having chapters broken up into smaller chunks is always easier for me to read/follow. Generally speaking, I read per update, so that’s a small chunk at a time, but if I weren’t, it’s tricky to find stopping places.

24 01 2011
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

Good point. By providing the markers, it makes a good visual way to know when to take a break, and how to get back into it. I may even put a table of contents at the top, to make it easier for return visits.
I’ll say it right now, to start speculation: Stars Fall takes place 10 years after London’s Fog. So, if Lizzy goes off “the vapors” now, she should be around for that.

24 01 2011

I like this section, I really like it.
In particular, I like the introduction to the other members of the Gearhaus “family”, and the way seeing Lizzy and remembering Emily helped Jesse with the voice illusion. That was excellent — a very satisfying story-within-a-story.
I’m not going to comment on length or structure. I read what seem to be (to other people) incredibly long books from the days when books were the only portable entertainment around, so I rarely think anything is too long. And I am starting to see Gilbert as a much more well-rounded person.
Also, Benny. I like how much more defined he’s become.

24 01 2011

Since she’s 12 now and she’d be 22 by then, she might survive even if she didn’t go off the steam. But how long do Calculators usually live anyway? After all, about three years ago Gil came to America to see the sights before dying, and he couldn’t have been that much younger than 22 at the time? I’m assuming he and Jesse are in their early 20s now. (yes i know he will live past 22, but what i mean is, he must’ve been assuming he’d die soon when he emigrated.)
And since Randall seemed to be his contemporary and hadn’t quite died yet…
Anyway, it’s moot, since Gilbert already said he’d be discussing her escape from Gearhaus. And if anybody can make the case for why she might want to escape, he can.
Calculators are certainly smart enough to escape; I’ve always assumed they just stay in captivity due to a combination of immaturity, cage-gilding, and lack of outside experiences. By the time they’re old enough to realize the steam is shortening their lives, the damage is done, so then it’s just a question of living out your life in comfort or… Not much else.

24 01 2011

Ohhh yeh. Duh. Sorry. I’m extra brain dead lately…
On an unrelated note, i really love Jim’s commentary about luck.

24 01 2011

My friend is part of the “Rose & Bay Awards” which is awarded to crowdsourced projects. I figured I’d nominate anachronauts. (You have a donate button! And give stuff in return!) Even if you don’t win, hopefully it’ll get you a few more readers. :-)

24 01 2011
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

Calculators inhale the steam nightly, until they’re 20 years old. They generally expire between 20 and 25, usually on the low end of the spectrum, so no need to waste steam on someone on their way out.
If Lizzy went off the steam now, at 12, she could live to be longer than most. Probably not a full human lifespan, but a decent one, and she’d still be smarter than most.

24 01 2011
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

Golly! Thanks. :D That would be Super Awesome, and it’s definitely crowdsourced; the book sales, the prereading, and everything pools together to make it what it is.

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