sa08 is sponsored by the acme corporation

1 12 2010

It’s all fun and games until someone makes a boo boo.

The updates for this particular story are going to be small, since it’s a small story.

That’s only partly laziness, though; writing a child’s story from a child’s perspective in a children’s lit style is surprisingly difficult. You’ve got to be careful with your word choice, figure out what bears repetition, even decide the best places to put the He-Said, She-Said bits around dialogue. All the while, in my head, I’m narrating it to myself as if I was reading it aloud. “Does this work when I read it aloud?” If yes, continue. If no, tweak it. And tweak it. And tweak it…

I expect I’ll be done with sa08 on Sunday. Then I’m in the hot seat again, because I only have a vague idea of what the next story will be. “The LF team goes to France, and… something.” Of course, lf03 started as “The LF team goes to Spain, and… something” and it’s evolved into one of my favorite anachronauts stories. Go figure.

If any parents reading this series elect to subject their offspring to sa08 when it’s finished, let me know how that works out. I’m hoping it’ll play well to the demographic.

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6 responses

2 12 2010
jengagne

— Huh, I didn’t even know Scout was there till Susie asked him a question. Maybe mention him being in Gaffer’s car with Susie?
— “And her happy was was now a very unhappy day” — should that be “happy day”?
— Huh, so she can go into Esrever’s domain without his help? … ah, guess that makes sense considering she’s Spring…
— Uh-oh.
— Nuuuuuuuu Susie!!

2 12 2010
kamalloy

Teeny-tiny nitpick. When Susie is thinking about books, “guys with swords” should probably be “boys with swords.” At her age, she’d be likely to think in terms of boys and girls. I could see “guys” coming from a middle schooler.
Otherwise, yay and looking forward to more!

2 12 2010
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

A good point. I’ll change that in the next edit; it’s definitely a world of boys and girls.

2 12 2010
cmdr_zoom

ohh, crap.
(Yes, Susie, that’s a bad word. That’s because what you just… I mean, what just happened is a bad thing. We’ll have to see just how bad.)

2 12 2010
poet_ninja

Oh dear.
I had a feeling we hadn’t seen the last of him yet.

3 12 2010
Anonymous

D:
The writing style is such a stark contrast to the bad, baaad thing that just happened that it makes it ten times worse (or more effective, I should say). SAVE HER DADDY SCOUT. SAVE SUSIE.

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