lf03 rocks the body that starts the party

6 11 2010

If you can’t have a good time in Ibiza, you’re either dead or planning some sort of armed rebellion.

In apology for missing the last update, have this one a day early and in Beefy Size. It’s a good 36k of story, covering a few major scenes and setting up the premise for the entire chapter.

I had to do a LOT of research and planning for this one. All I really had in my notes was “And then they go to Spain for some reason.” I did a lot of pondering of how I would depict a traditional olde worlde European nation I had never actually visited, before realizing… hey, this is anachronauts. It’s not about realistic depiction of what IS, it’s about fantastic depiction of what COULD BE when you smash two cultures head-on into each other.

This naturally led me to Ibiza, and to the inevitable conflict that you will be reading about shortly.

Feedback welcome. In particular… after these scenes, the crew splits up to go do little errands and tasks. Which of the four primaries would you like me to write about first? Gilbert, Jesse, Chloe, or Benny? I’ve put little hints of where each are going, but rest assured, my plans for each are strong character building bits. Which one do you want to see most?

EDIT: It’s looking like I can actually chain the stories together effectively if the order is Benny, Chloe, Jesse, and Gilbert. So, look for Benny’s run-in with an old friend here on Wednesday!

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8 responses

7 11 2010
jengagne

Hey, you wrote a lot this round! Nice. An excellent story segment overall. All I really have in comments here is typo-ish stuff, but rest assured I am Entertained. :D
— “martial disagreement”: I think you mean “marital” although with Jesse you never know…
— They let Jeeves vote? Heheh. But wait, wouldn’t that be 1:5… oh right Chloe is the Eastusian here. Brainfart made me think they had Chloe AND Morales here. Ignore me.
— How do they know Randall is here?
— A bell. Oooh. Foreshadowing/forewarning of some sort? THE BELLS THE BELLLLS
— doppleganger -> doppelganger.
— “Random”. Heh.
— accoustic -> acoustic (throughout)
— I guess Gilbert isn’t surprised that Random avoided an entirely math-y challenge. He knows Random is picking a field in which he’d had the advantage.
— chauvanist -> chauvinist
— “I’ve no doubt of trechary.” — 1) treachery, 2) rephrase? “I’ve no doubt you’d stoop to treachery”?
— “rose to hit feet” : his
— “… reading?” Hee hee. “hobbies.” Oh, Jesse.

7 11 2010
cmdr_zoom

Jeeves counts as .6 (three-fifths), surely.

7 11 2010
luridel

Putting in a vote for Gilbert -> Benny -> Chloe -> Jesse, just because that’s the order that they left in. Alternatively, Benny -> Jesse -> Gilbert -> Chloe.

7 11 2010
benabik

I’d say it should either be the order they left in, or reverse that (assuming that the people who left first have the more important things to do.

7 11 2010
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

I can rewrite the order if need be. Or write them in whatever order I like and rearrange when I’m done. So, it’s more a question of which you want written first.

8 11 2010
lirazel

I feel as though I have a vested interest in Chloe, as it were.
Also, “merits of submersible vehicles with specific color schemes” made me giggle. But wouldn’t those be the residential merits? (or would that be too silly?)
Why doesn’t Random have a Jeeves? (For that matter, why does Gilbert?)

8 11 2010
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

Never too silly.
I hadn’t given much thought to Random having a Jeeves. I figure his Jeeves are the twins; they’re handling organizing his affairs, in addition to other ‘benefits’. However, Gilbert has far more care for his metal manservant.
Exactly how Gilbert obtained Jeeves will be explored later. He’s something of a family heirloom.

8 11 2010
eyeless1

Given the whole “battle of the bands” thing is the primary plot point, it should probably be either first or last. That said, I think Benny needs some attention, and I’d kind of like to see him go first. Maybe Benny->Jesse->Chloe->Gil?

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