sa06 isn’t quite the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

14 09 2010

John Connor might’ve been wrong.

This wraps up the tale of Wallflower, and the wacky blog-format based story of sa06. There’s no jumplink down to the latest update — basically the 5th and 6th entries are the new ones.

(I often wonder if I’m “doin it rite” with any romance focused pieces, given I’ve got very little practical firsthand knowledge of the subject. So far the feedback I’ve gotten is that I’m somehow getting it right, so I’m gonna just run with that and hope for the best.)

Feedback is, as always, welcome.

The next update on Friday will likely be Chloe focused. I’m having trouble getting a grip on her character; the problem is she’s gone through three complete changes, in terms of her origins and her purpose in the story, and the stories themselves haven’t been modified to reflect that. In sa02, she was basically an obstacle with some hints at what was going on. In lf01, she was [SPOILER REDACTED] and a love interest. Then when I started lf02, I went Hang On, That Doesn’t Feel Quite Right and now she’s [OTHER SPOILER REDACTED] and [YET ANOTHER SPOILER REDACTED].

I need to really put my finger down on her personality… what drives her, why she is how she is… and make all three stories featuring her so far jive with that. So, there may not be new scenes, but here will be new content.

Or maybe I’ll just write another SA story. You never know! See you Friday.

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16 responses

14 09 2010
benabik

Random thought that occurred to me re: Emily’s prophesy. (Spoilers ahoy?)
The Earth being half in fire and half in ice sounds a lot like the crowns of Winter and Summer destroying the earth between them. However, it also sounds like what would happen if the Earth became tidally locked to the Sun. One hemisphere would point towards the Sun eternally getting hotter and hotter, while the other points out into space slowly losing most of its heat. Even better, by that point the Sun should have expanded into a red giant so the near face of Earth would be in the outer areas of the corona, much like Mercury is now.
For reference, Mercury’s temperature ranges from -170 °C to 425 °C. If that’s not frozen in ice and burning in fire, I don’t know what is.
Of course, I wanted to reference the actual prophesy but I can’t remember where it was. Poo.

14 09 2010
cmdr_zoom

whoa, that was… wow.
crying a little now.

14 09 2010
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

Wow. Guess I got it right, then.

14 09 2010
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

sa04 – students. Next to last scene.
“I’ve seen this world die. It ends with half the planet wreathed in fire, the other half frozen in ice,” Emily stated. “It was an accident. I opened the lidless eye and saw too much of the future. Could be a thousand years from now, could be next Tuesday. But if things happen the way I’ve foreseen, I’m going to be responsible for this world’s doom. Myself… and Scout. I’m doing everything I can to avoid it, but I need people I can trust to help me. Even if it comes down to helping me against myself.”

14 09 2010
cmdr_zoom

Yup.
Quite the heroic act there. Don’t know if I’d have the courage myself; then again, I’ve always considered myself part of the “surplus population”, so if it came down to trading my life for several others…
There’s a Callahan’s story, Spider Robinson, “Fivesight” (pun on foresight) – a character whose name is a variation on Cassandra (the gods do love their ironies) is cursed with visions of the future that they can’t prevent but do try to ameliorate in similar fashion (having blankets handy, etc).

14 09 2010
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

That’s what she had to come to grips with for (an estimated) decade or so… realizing that she had to trade her life for others, and finding a way to be okay with that. Riding it out to the end was, as Kev noted, courageous. Even if she didn’t like that she had to do it.
This was actually version #5 of Wallflower’s fate. I knew all along the idea would be a future where she dies, but she can’t avoid it because the outcome is too important. The key was trying to make it so that she doesn’t have enough details to just prevent it from happening for everyone, but has just enough details to play her part in it.
I’ll admit to being inspired in part by Stranger Than Fiction, where another character faces a similar dilemma. But this one had to explore the prophecy / time travel nature of it… and it had to reinforce the problem Emily’s facing, where you don’t know if you CAN avoid the future, because the future may be setting itself in the act of being observed.
We’ll find out how Emily’s future really resolves itself in Stars Fall, sometime next year.

14 09 2010
cmdr_zoom

Props to you on the Winter’s Tears, by the way. Those are a classic double-edged Fae “gift” item.

14 09 2010
jengagne

Me too! I knew basically how it was gonna go down from brainstorming with 2f and I still cried!
Great job, 2f. And the comments enhance everything. I was wondering if they’d be awkward at the ending but they totally fit there too.

15 09 2010
kamalloy

Oh, damn. Well, that explains why she wasn’t trying to avoid her fate. And the discussion/comments in the end turned out to add a lot to the story. (Plus, Ariel is performing totally satisfying wish-fulfillment for dealing with hate-spewing trolls.)
I really liked Kev and I’m sorry he had to go. Given that the Orbitals hadn’t undergone a Big Public Reveal, I can see why, plus there were messy future-seeing complications involved, but I’m glad she got to have someone for a little while.
As for Chloe, yeah, I really liked her in the sa02 story, but you’re right about her being somewhat off here. I can’t really offer any feedback on focusing her. :/ I dislike it when I say, “Yeah, I’m not sure about X” but I don’t have any concrete suggestions for changing X, but there you go. ^^;

15 09 2010
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

I’ve got a game plan for Chloe now. The Friday update will probably be minor edits to sa02, lf01, and lf02 to bring Chloe in line with a more defined characterization. Granted she still won’t get a major chance to show it off until later in this story, but.
One of the upcoming saXX stories will have more about the Welcome Wagon, and the ‘reveal’ of the Orbitals.

15 09 2010
lucilleliu

The comments are brilliant. They’re so real. You obviously know internet culture inside and out.
“last prost
lats post”
For some odd reason this is a poetic end. I don’t know why, it just is.

16 09 2010
eyeless1

“Oh, damn. Well, that explains why she wasn’t trying to avoid her fate. And the discussion/comments in the end turned out to add a lot to the story. (Plus, Ariel is performing totally satisfying wish-fulfillment for dealing with hate-spewing trolls.)”
Ariel and the internet police actually make me worried. The idea that a blog post can get you investigated, or even “disappeared” by the FBI is starting to hit a little close to home these days: special internet-focused law enforcement and military groups are being formed or are already in existence, governments are forcing private companies to create backdoors in their security systems (see Blackberries in the Middle East and India); copyright enforcement is becoming a bigger priority with the FBI than kidnapping; Intel is working to create CPUs that only run “authorized code” (authorized by whom? Not the user; that’s clear).
It’s a worrisome time we’re living in, and the notion of a magical air-fairy who spies on all our communications is a good proxy for that. But all that has little enough to do with the story, which is very good and I look forward to more. :)

16 09 2010
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

It’s a double edged sword, definitely. Especially since Ariel, like the other elemental witches (especially Ophelia) kind of feels beholden to no one and free to do as they please. With great power comes UNLIMITED POWER AAAHAHAHAHAA
Fortunately she’s a good witch, and likes Emily, but if she ever went bad it could be bad for us.
We don’t know if the FBI actually arrested anyone there. I leave the end result as an exercise to the reader.

16 09 2010
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

The author convenience here is that internet culture hasn’t wildly mutated for 200 years. There is the instance where Ariel busts out a 2007 internet meme and nobody gets the joke, but otherwise, I am basically extrapolating an “endless present day”. c.c; Hopefully nobody notices…

16 09 2010
kamalloy

It is not something I’d want happening in reality. However, there’s a certain visceral satisfaction in seeing it happen fictionally, given the times I wished I could reach through my monitor and slap people. ;p

16 09 2010
jengagne

I dunno, I think it’s reasonable for the FBI to investigate when someone declares American civilians “a sad but necessary casualty”. What’s wrong with that?
Of course Ariel is predicting prison, but that’s just her assumption. Not like it’s up to her. I’m sure this person would have had to do more than _just_ comment on a blog to land in prison.

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