fs05 has one more thing to bring to your attention

23 04 2010

I guess this is the Director’s Cut or something.

Folks wanted an expanded ending, something that touches upon a few things I glossed over. Also, I needed to insert Benny into the finale a bit more tightly. So, I’ve done both things. Some additional scenes with our cast, wrapping up their adventures, and shuffling about elements already in play. Presto, improved ending. It’s not quite final draft, I still need to do a proofing pass, but it works better.

We’ll have some Second Age stories coming up to fill in the upcoming two-year time gap, including a certain very, very new character showing up and taking her first steps, so to speak.

Feedback welcome.




8 responses

23 04 2010

Ooo, much better. Tiny point, will all your readers know what “C of E” means?

23 04 2010
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

Possibly not, but I’ll leave it in since it’s a minor point and I like the way it feels coming from Gilbert.
(PROTIP: He’s probably wrong.)

23 04 2010

Much improved. It’s nice to see what’s going on with the whole team, including Una and Nel.
“Otherwise you’re liable to get yourself heroically murdered, and I am not wasting my investment in you.”
I laughed at this line. It makes Jesse sound as if she’s a banker or something. XD It’s adorable how unromantic she is.

24 04 2010

Yeah, I gathered that.
You need any advice about things Anglican, feel free to shout.

24 04 2010

and now, the ritual Blessing of the Boiler…

24 04 2010

The additions worked very well, giving us that oh necessary “and… Breathe” moment. I also really like the addition of Scout to that final scene. Its adorable. Honestly though its the last line from the Una and Nel epilogue that kills me. The idea of moving or empty rooms that were once lived in, has always caused a deep, emotional reaction in me. Wonderful, just wonderful.
On a slight tangent, I’m finally getting into the whole “original online fiction publication” game myself but am finding it difficulty to post my 8,000+ word first story online. Its to long for livejournal yet I am imitated by the idea of creating my own website from scratch. Any suggestions based on how you make it all work? Anything would be helpful. Sorry to bug and thanks.

24 04 2010
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

Tricky. A website is really the way to go, but it requires either some rudimentary HTML (notice anachronauts is spartan black on white) or some wizard-based EZ web page creation system. Which I know nothing about, since I’ve been HTMLing it up since 1994.
Maybe Livejournal’s the way to go. Just post it in chapters or sections, under LJ-Cuts. Create a free account just for it, or make it a sticky on your own LJ. You can always move it later if you find a better solution.

27 05 2010

Excellent as always. I’ve been reading your stuff since, hmm, at least since the last few chapters of Unreal Estate, and it just keeps getting better.
One thing I’m wondering, though, is how you plan to organize the Second Age if/when you get it ready for a dead tree edition. My feeling is that it would make sense to start with the shared first chapter of The Second Age and The Forsaken Shores, then alternate chapters afterward (Second Age 2, then Forsaken Shores 2, because Benny’s intro really has to come before the bulk of FS).
I’m also curious as to just how much of the world you’ve already fleshed out, and how much won’t be dealt with until it comes into the story proper.
And I’m curious as to why the Orbital folks haven’t taken the obvious step of using their gravity engine tech to start harvesting, say, lunar material to feed their mass converters. Not forever, but as a stopgap for a few years while they haul in rocks from farther out in the solar system. After all, there’s plenty of material there, and no native life to worry about.

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