fs02 is repping the west side

21 11 2009

California love. Unh. Unh.

Also, I just won NaNoWriMo, and I’ve still got more left to write this month. Feels damn good; I’ve always wanted to try NaNo and now I can say Been There, Done That, Got The Virtual T-Shirt. It’s a relief to know I’m able to step up to a task like that.

Okay, back to the actual story. This update to fs02 includes our first scenes in Los Angeles. I’ve gotten around the problem of “Author has never actually been to Los Angeles” by making the place almost utterly unrecognizable, and focusing primarily on one well documented location.

Next update… we see the faces of the enemy.

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14 responses

21 11 2009
cmdr_zoom

Interesting.
Our explorers are proceeding from a flawed, though understandable assumption; having encountered only one supernatural wish-granting agency, they assume it IS the only one. We readers, on the other hand, have seen at least one other at work…

21 11 2009
shachihoko

Griffith Observatory … isn’t that where the original Terminator arrived in the movie which unwittingly launched the franchise?
Also, I love how Jesse is the genre-savvy one. Nicely done.

21 11 2009
jengagne

Congratulations on NaNoWriMo! Don’t you get an “I won” .gif or something? If so, post it, I wanna see. :D
This bit of the story has a nice flavor of slowly building anxiety, but it’s just subtle enough (no apparent _immediate_ threat) that I, as the audience, don’t go into Run Away You Idiots mode, which I appreciate.
Two typos here: “Declares war on LAPD.’ What’s a lapped? –oh, the constulbury” War needs capital W, constabulary
“in and exchange” — an
“Fiona Lamark’s Midas Touch Results in Deaths of Hundreds.” — nitpicky, but wouldn’t a real newspaper use the shortest title possible? “Fiona Lamark’s Midas Touch Kills Hundreds.”
Figures the real news would be in the hot sheets. :D UFO, hee hee. (And hey, maybe Bigfoot showed up with the fae! Or with the sudden forest?)
“I always wondered why she didn’t simply do that to all of Eastusa and be done with it…” — Good question, Jesse. Hmmm. Let’s theorize. This is Summer so causing all that death directly might feel like helping her sister a bit too much. And Winter is more of a Cold War type (har!) Somehow I imagine Winter taunting Summer, “Why, you’re the most effective of all our death-dealers! Bravo.”

21 11 2009
jengagne

*blank look* I’m guessing you mean the Queens, and…?

21 11 2009
jengagne

Yes. Yes, it is.

21 11 2009
cmdr_zoom

and Hell.
Sounds to me like devils (Benny and his ilk) started showing up in L.A. for real, making wishes come true in the worst and most damaging/corrupting way for all possible of course, and when the Fae found out about it, they freaked and threw a bubble over the town.

21 11 2009
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

Got it in one.
This one’s the most obvious of the forsaken cities. The others will be a bit more insidious or strange.

21 11 2009
eyeless1

“Jesse tossed down her busted hand, with a frown.”
Don’t know if this has been mentioned before, but casino blackjack generally doesn’t involve the player picking up the cards: since games are played against the dealer, hands are played face-up, on the table, with only the dealer having a card face-down. If you’re going to have Gil and Jes play blackjack, maybe she should toss a chip instead?

21 11 2009
eyeless1

Also begs the question of why Benny was so eager to keep the key from being discovered. Is it obvious answer #1: that this “Mister” is his boss/stronger demon, and he doesn’t want to be upstaged, #2: that Benny is “going native” and cares more about being human than his actions seem to indicate, or something else?
Do one of the other forsaken cities contain something even worse? And, if they do, how were the Crowns able to contain them?

22 11 2009
kamalloy

Wow. Creepy. Really creepy.
Also, now I’m curious as to how recent the merging of the British Steampunk world with Earth was, since it seems like Gilbert’s a relatively new arrival. I guess the Orbitals were still at work up through the past few years.

22 11 2009
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

No, the British Empire’s been established for a long time now; they came over with the Pandora Event. There will be more details on that later.

22 11 2009
kamalloy

Ah, okay. The scene at the scientific monument threw me with the whole “home dimension” thing, but I will accept that more information is forthcoming.

23 11 2009
jengagne

I just assumed he was basing that convo on his new knowledge about how they got here (he didn’t know about that before his convo with Emily, right?)

23 11 2009
kamalloy

Okay, so his ancestors’ home dimension, then. Got it.

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