a06 feels pretty, oh so pretty, and witty, and wise

30 07 2009

Now accepting bets on how long it takes before the chandelier falls.

I can’t believe I banged out 50k in one night. A well structured outline is to blame; I knew what each scene needed to accomplish and even had a lot of the dialogue written already. I’dve had it up sooner, but I had to rewrite it a bit, to shift the focus on the House from “debauchery” to “gambling” in terms of its core vice. Otherwise, I’d be heaping way too much squicky abuse onto Nelliwyn than I felt was appropriate for the tone.

Enjoy, and feedback welcome. I do plan to get a05 out of draft soon, but for now I felt like getting some scenes out to contrast the high and “noble” Summer Court against the twisted and alien Winter Court.

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13 responses

30 07 2009
Anonymous

Yessss. I have been waiting for chapter 6! And now I have it.
You have no idea how happy you have made me.

30 07 2009
omahdon

Nel mysterious turns into “Nil” in the last section with the whipping and the hurting and the oy. But yes, happy times for new chapter hurrah!

30 07 2009
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

I’ll go ahead and fix that now. I gotta un-stick my mind from the original proposal for her name… “Nil” is elfy-odd, but “Nel” is cuter and easier on the eyes.

30 07 2009
jengagne

Couple typos… “fresh lenin” heheh. Also, it mentions “If Una and Scout opened eyes” rather than Emily and Scout.
“Your mother would be proud.” — just her mother?
GREAT chapter start so far, Twoof. The party is clearly an exciting and dangerous place. I love Emily’s change of heart about the fancy-level of her dress, and Nel’s characterization works. Sad sad elf in the … uh… swamp!
P.S.: Gambling as the core vice seems MORE appropriate than debauchery to me — after all, they’re all about owing things. Gambling favors and obligation sounds very Fae to me.

30 07 2009
lirazel

Drat, I had a whole elaborate pun built around “fresh lenins.”
I agree about the gambling. And besides, Twoof, you can always do a hentai version later, if you like. :)

30 07 2009
cmdr_zoom

I too giggled at “fresh lenins.”
(More seriously, “steadfastedly” isn’t really a word, while “steadfastly” is.)

30 07 2009
storytellersjk

Heh. Great opening line. Morgana is perfectly defined and I love her introduction. It really gets us inside her head while also setting up that our heroes are in for some real trouble. More of this story is all it takes to brighten my day. Anachronauts as a whole is quickly turning into my favorite of your works.
By the way if you get a chance to check out my blog I have started posting a writing project of my own there. Any feedback you (or anyone else for that matter) could provide would be appreciated. Thanks.

30 07 2009
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

I think this one goes down with the infamous tavern selling cool, crisp, refreshing bears.

30 07 2009
jengagne

I guess they were microbruin. XD

30 07 2009
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

…..

30 07 2009
jengagne

What, you can’t bear it when I bare my sense of humor to the world??

30 07 2009
lirazel

Fresh lenins on a bearskin rug.
OK, brane brokin naow…

31 07 2009
lirazel

Oh, by the way…
My bet? Just before Our Heros hightail it OUTTA there! (I’d say four hours, but everyone knows time is odd in fairy dwellings.)

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