o hai, anachronauts 02

25 06 2009

I finished this up last night, and posted it earlier this morning with links from Twitter and RSS, figured I’d give them an early head start. This is the official feedback post for the first scenes of a02. Also be sure to check out the bloggeration from last night about the site updates and artwork and such.

Edit: The artwork page is up, with submission details and designer notes.

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17 responses

25 06 2009
lirazel

The FaePlace piece is really, really good.
One question, though — If Una’s such a bookworm, would she really have missed out on all the sexuality cues about sleep and wearing clothing? I mean, yes, it’s funny and that may be enough… but it might be just as funny if she was disconcerted by the “primitive” conditions.

25 06 2009
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

I’m still trying to narrow down what Una knows. It’s limited… probably a lot more than others know in her society, but it’s still a view from above. Sort of like an archaeologist picking through rubble and trying to understand culture, you’re bound to miss the details and get things wrong.

25 06 2009
Anonymous

London
I’m actually thinking about drawing some fanart. Are there any particular guidelines? Also, it might be easier for artists to have a place where each character’s phyisical traits are listed. That way they don’t miss any details. It might be too much work for you, though.
BTW, when you said Una’s hair was short, what did you mean? Did you mean bob short or boy short?

25 06 2009
cmdr_zoom

I must confess, I am totally hearing Hynden Walch’s Starfire voice for Una.

25 06 2009
raigne

Copy edits:

“All the buildings generally had been raized” –razed
“The elderly woman barely offered a grunt, swapping paper money for a metal key.” –What elderly woman? I assume she’s behind a counter in the inn, but that was where my brain went first.
“only something you did very briefly when washing up when nobody was looking.” –so minor it feels like nitpicking, but redundant wording.
“I have no interest at this time in couplating with Scout” –copulating
“Although, if my understanding of the social flag-bearer” –This seems a little out of place coming from Una. Kinda slangy.

Long stuff:
My thoughts on the FaePlace itself are below. This isn’t about the content, but about the arrangement. Possibly it won’t matter when you continue with their first night in Baltimore, but it’s not completely clear to me if the scene describing the spell is taking place in Baltimore or in the fringe town after Olney. I am assuming the latter, and if that’s the case, I suggest either describing the Baltimore inn completely and then do the flashback, or (and this is what I think would be smoothest) start that part with the flashback and then tie it in to the inn in Baltimore. With no separation the way it is now, it feels confused.
On a related note, had Emily ever cast the spell for more than one person before? If she hadn’t, maybe note that that was why she assumed they’d need two rooms? If she had, it seems odd that she would declare separate rooms necessary if she had an idea that the FaePlace would create them. Unless this was a keeping up appearances type of thing.
Thoughts:
“No trouble at all.” He. Hehe. Famous last words.
“Books had predicted shiny flying cars in mankind’s future, but mankind was content to let technology roll on without much improvement” THANK YOU. Thank you for explaining, even briefly, why years into the future our technology hasn’t advanced any. No one ever explains it and it always seems like a gaping plot hole when they don’t.
Aslo, seconding the FaePlace part being really, really good. I kind of want to know what other people see though. Can they enter it uninvited? Invited? Does the room just appear to be ordinary if they can’t?

25 06 2009
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

Re: London
I’ve made a page for artwork on the site. Included in it are the original character design notes, for your use.
As for Una, probably something like Uma Therman in Pulp Fiction, although I swear the name is a coincidence. Image-Googling “female bob haircut” will also give you some good candidates.
Don’t worry about getting it precisely accurate. Reinterpetations are fine. Look at all the Harry Potter fanart desire the only official art being the cartoony, sketchy interlude pictures, after all.

25 06 2009
raigne

…Aslo
I always feel like such a faker when I don’t look over my posts to make sure I spelled everything right.

25 06 2009
sptrashcan

Muphry’s Law strikes again!

25 06 2009
raigne

You know. I always tell people, “Murphy loves you.” I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me that it applies to Muphry as well.

25 06 2009
Anonymous

Re: London
That helps a lot. Thanks.

25 06 2009
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

Re: London
Oh — also keep in mind that it’s a photonegative of Uma Therman. White hair, rather than jet black. Goes with her whole silvery motif.

25 06 2009
sptrashcan

Re: London
And jet-black skin?
It’d actually make sense for a spacefaring race. You get exposed to a lot of radiation when you live outside an atmosphere, and black skin would help absorb that and prevent its nastier effects, just as reflective silver-white hair would. Think polar bears. Plus, y’know, it’d look cool.
She might be wearing makeup or something more advanced to emulate the more “normal” range of human skintones, or she might not.

25 06 2009
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

Re: London
Noep. Pale skin. Kind of an old school scifi interpretation that the future is a very white, very flawless future. Before Gene came in and said “Y’know, call me nuts, but there may actually be minorities in space…”

26 06 2009
omahdon

Ah no wait I still haven’t finished a01 need to read but no time getting pulled in all directions argh

26 06 2009
mtws

“but when she caught Scout’s expression as he first laid eyes on his FaePlace home away from home… the relief on his face chilled her to the bone.”
That sentence remains awesome even in spite of hearing Rose in the back of my mind going “Jack! ZOMG! Jack! Why don’t you have any wallpaper, Jack?!”

26 06 2009
Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

I am concerned I’m working too fast on this project, that it’ll be done before anybody has time to really sit down and enjoy it. But I gotta move as fast as the muse tells me to. c.c;

26 06 2009
lirazel

Re: London
Does she at least have a slightly odd-looking nose?

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